What’s Your Account Balance?
This week’s Success Blog is about the Emotional Bank Account. Stephen R. Covey writes about the Emotional Bank Account in his book, “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.” Many other great authors have also written about this concept.
The Emotional Bank Account is a metaphor for the level of trust we have built (with deposits), or the trust we lack (because of too many withdrawals) in our relationships.
Pick a relationship in your life and assess your Emotional Bank Account balance by giving the trust you have built with that person a score ranging from -10 all the way up to +10. If you have built amazing trust through consistently depositing with that person, if they get your meaning even when you make a mistake in your communication, because they know your heart and they trust you, then your balance is high. If you can’t seem to say anything right in their eyes, if the slightest mistake on your part seems to make things even worse, then you are probably way overdrawn.
Identify the deposits and withdrawals in this relationship. Seek to maximize your deposits while minimizing withdrawals. As you do keep the 3 Keys to the Emotional Bank Account in mind:
- Make Valid Deposits - Find out what the valid deposits are, from the other persons perspective. While the Golden Rule states, “Do unto others as you would have others do unto you” the Platinum Rule as written by Dr. Tony Alessandra is, “Do unto others as they would have you to do unto them.” This is the rule to follow when seeking to make deposits with others.
- Make Deposits Sincerely & Unconditionally - If there are “strings” attached, if you have a hidden agenda or expect something in return, then what you are hoping to be a deposit will most likely become a withdrawal. Be sincere. Make the deposit unconditionally, with your only motive that of wanting to build trust.
- Make Deposits Consistently - You know the old saying, “What have you done for me lately?” Well, this certainly applies to the Emotional Bank Account. If you make a bunch of deposits in the short term, then nothing for quite a while, then the other person starts to wonder about the sincerity of your previous deposits, or if they have done something “wrong”, or if you just don’t care anymore. Be consistent.
Now, imagine that all of these keys are taken and locked in a box and you need one Master Key to access the other three. That Master Key is Personal Trustworthiness. The whole focus of the Emotional Bank Account is to build trust. This cannot be done if we ourselves are not trustworthy.
Now, I encourage you to take this principle and apply it to your relationships. Make it part of your purpose to build trust in your relationships. With great trust comes great influence, and with great influence you have the power to effect happiness… yours as well as others’.
Quotes to live by:
You can’t talk your way out of a problem you behaved yourself into.
~ Stephen R. Covey
Discover your purpose, and then live ON PURPOSE.
~ Kip Kint
To Your Success!
Kip Kint
Success Coach & President
Mission Ignition